Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Searching ...

Well, here I go.  Searching.  Looking for some feedback in life.  I feel a little lost in life.  I spent my entire adult life taking care of my husband and kids.  My youngest baby is about to turn 21.  And, although she is thrilled at that prospect ... it's made me think ...  a lot.  And, me, I'm about to turn 50.  I'm well past the time of needed reflection and planning the next phase of my life!

I feel like I'm at loose ends in life.  Living in a small community isn't helping.  Everyone thinks you have to stay the same as you always were.  I'm a different woman than I was when I was raising my kids.  I've really extracted myself from this community. 

I've had some extended family setbacks, too.  I severed a toxic parental relationship just recently.  That was a long time coming.  It's been hard emotionally.  I've done a lot of reading ... daughters of alcoholic parents/dysfunctional parents ... and learning so much about myself and why I am the way I am. I don't hate my parents ... I truly wish them the best.  They did the best they knew how.  But, as awful as it sounds, severing that relationship hasn't really changed my world a whole lot ... beyond having way less stress in life.

I have an awesome husband.  People think we're crazy to live like we do.  He travels a lot.  Basically gone Monday thru Friday most weeks.  He gets home Friday for dinner and is home all weekend, every weekend.  Once in awhile I even get him evenings during the week.  This lasts for about 10 months of the year.  Those other two months ... he's all mine. 

I am a follower of Jesus. My faith is my anchor in life. 

So, welcome to my world.  Follow along with me while I do some searching ...

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