Stepping back from your adult children....

I spent an awful lot of time with my kids while they were growing up.  Homeschooling them will do that for you.  I think, as parent/child relationships go, I have a pretty good one with all my kids.  I wasn't one of those over-the-top hide your kids away from the world homeschool mom's.  I did shelter them pretty good when they were little.  That sheltering was eased up as they grew up.  At 16, I felt they all had developed into young adults that could basically make their own decisions in life and started backing out of that process.  They made mostly good decisions.  I have "basically" good kids. 

That's not to say they don't aggravate me at times.  They've all made decisions I don't like.  They've all made decisions I don't agree with.  They've all lived in a way, I'd rather they didn't.  Not one followed the plan I'd have given them ... but I can only laugh at that.  What kid follows their parents' dream for them ... it's their life and their dreams anyway. 

I have had to take on a couple of quotes that I read.  They are not my own thoughts.  I don't even know where they came from or who to attribute them to.  I think they are the thoughts of a lot of people:

  "Your decisions are not my consequences."  AND "You don't have to have an opinion where you don't have responsibility."

Parenting words to live by when your kids are older, I'd say.  I'm having to put those quotes to good use this morning.  And, I'm also letting them teach me this morning.  When your kid continually does something that aggravates you and you keep letting them ... even though you know better ... it is your own fault.  In this case, it's MY fault.  I took responsibility for something my daughter should have been doing.  It cost me money.  The money doesn't really matter.  It wasn't that much money.  But, money with her is a huge issue.  I knew better to take her responsibility from her.  It isn't a favor to do that to your kids.  You need to let them be responsible.  This daughter is very irresponsible in many ways in her life and I totally understand that I have played a hand in it.  I need to STOP doing this ... and NOW.  STEP BACK ... step away from taking responsibility where it doesn't belong to me.